May 12, 2025 • 63 mins
This week the ladies are joined by R&B legend, Tank! Fresh off his Broadway Debut in Hell’s Kitchen, Tank gives the ladies an insight behind the prep for his role and how he felt finally hitting the Broadway stage. After the showtime talk, the ladies get into Tank’s take on new R&B , how Tank feels about the next generation, what is the “NEW” R&B era, the perfect baby making music, and his Mount Rushmore of Rnb ALL TIME. After Mandii’s icebreaker, we get to read an excerpt from the upcoming book “No Holes Barred”, and Tank lets us in on how he became so open to conversations on controversial topics. Tank then gets into finding love again after going through a break-up while co-parenting, plus much more!
Help us become a New York Time's Best Seller & make sure you pre-order your copy of Mandii & Weezy’s upcoming debut book:
“No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to this person.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast.
You want to say together decisions decisions. Hey guys, girl,
welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
You know, we got to guess some fine because we
were doing different ship. Let us have somebody who we
just don't care about it O.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome back everybody. Now, this whole got the moment. I'm
your girl, man, d P, I'm weazy and it's a
threesome today. That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
We are joined by we could call them a cousin,
so we're not doing incests. So technically it's not that
our black fam How far my cousin removed?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
All right, girl, a marriage cousin or.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Like distant country cousin at the cookout? Did you ain't
know what you right now?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
When I went to my family union, there was like, oh,
that's one with the white daddy, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
We have singer songwriter Broadway song the motherfucker Bauldy.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
It's all required when you're a musician to wear shirts
like that, Like why do It's always just you gotta
see it a little bit, a little bumps in arms.
Speaker 5 (01:19):
If you have it, Oh, don't come on here, even
the little squinty eyes. We just need you to beg
It's not my fault because it's looking.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Like no, I'm not like, I'm not trying to smolder.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's when people ask you d be like, yeah, I'm
a tenth Asiana.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I wake up smoldering. You know what I mean? I
felt I feel like I am.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I think the energy though, is beautiful because like we're
making fun of it, but it is also the allure
to be a good singer. To me, it's having that
like sexual energy, having that natural just I don't know,
I don't even want to call it flirting, but it's
almost like the attentiveness.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Oh, I'm not gonna lie. It's what I say.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Said is wrong with R and B today, Like they'd
be talking about like some fuck niggas ship but they're ugly,
like they're not attractive enough to be saying the things
they're saying. And I'm not saying names. I'm just saying
that to me is what is a little bit wrong
with male R and B today? Like where is the
fine ones at?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
You know? What and to that, I can say it's
very subjective in terms of what you think is attractive.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Because back in his day he looked I think he
was girl.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Okay, okay, I'll just try to be like he was
a handsome man, but he wasn't because we're not allowed
to call people that ain't not.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
But think about this though, it wasn't necessarily like it
wasn't necessarily like if they were lookers, just like you know,
just without anything right, but the presentation overall, like when
you saw what Luther had on you, you saw what Martin,
what what Marvin had on when you saw the temptations
(03:00):
had on the way the way they walked it and
talked it. You know what I'm saying, It was like this,
Oh there's something there that is attractive. It doesn't necessarily
have to be that you are physically attractive. But let's
get into this word aura. Right, are your energy? You're
you know what I'm saying. There are things that are
attractive and these things are curated.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What women do you.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Think have it that are like we can call it
out like who has that aura that's a singer and
entertain a period, Like who do you think has it?
Because to me, Alicia Wan of Alsha could wear a
cargo jeans and a stud fit and we like, what
it's goddess energy.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's crazy.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
You know what. I always refrain from from speaking on
women who have husbands.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I'm respectful that we don't know, as.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Alicia's had it since since day one?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Right, speaking of Alicia, yes, and speaking of Aura, she
brought up but I got to see you live Hell's
Kitchen on Broadway loosely based around Alicia Keys's story. And
before you said a word? Is this a normal reaction
to before you said a word? Before you did a who?
(04:17):
The aunties in the crowd was like, whoa, honey?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Was your shirt on?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
No girl fully clothed. He walked on stage with little
squinty eyes and just like I did you did?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
I the piano on stage? That did not squid my eyes.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
While he was rolling the piano, he was like, and
what I say?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He didn't say a word, and the girls in the
audience was just like Then he started singing, I do
want to say, y'all. I know I've been talking about
going to Broadway shows. I've been gassing for weeks going
to coe Othello, you told us during the Black Effect
Fest that you were on Broadway. I had known Health's kitchen, y'all,
where's my camera? By far, probably be bad. I've never
(05:07):
cried on Broadway until I saw this show.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
By the way, the girl went to see Othello day before,
and I still it was gas in Hell's Kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
No, so I said, I loved it. Let me tell
you though, real quick.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
So when I see him at the Black Back Fest,
I said, oh, you're on Broadway, and he's like, I'm
one of the best Broadway starts.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I said, you know, Denzel on it.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And so I went to see Othello, went to see
Hell's Kitchen, and y'all, I bawled four times. The I
went with al writer tempest. I went with my good friend,
uh Britt. I looked up all you here from behind
us in front of us, the white people stood up.
(05:46):
Hold on, white people stood up and said that was
that was magnificent. So it's not like.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And what did you say? What word did you use?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I said, that was good as fucking I'm glad we
was all crying together.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It was so good. I do want to know how
is it different?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Because I'm so glad you're here today, because you've been
using them vocals.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
How is it different from touring? And and have.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
You acted before, Like, how has Broadway been different for
you than anything else you've done.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I've done theater before. Okay, it was traveling theater, and
thank god I've done that before. It kind of helped
prepare me for this. But Broadway is the pinnacle, you
know what I mean? When you get the Broadway, this
is what theater is, super super theater on forty four.
This is where you know you you are, you are
(06:37):
made or broken, and you know, the the critique is
a lot different, the excellence that is required a lot different.
The people, the talent on Broadway is different. Actor, you mean,
all of.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
It's saying all of it the Broadway culture because for
most of us, we go to New York on a trip,
we go on to day ticks, We just figuring out
what we're going to see, right, But the culture of
the people that actually go, like what's the vibe when
you walk in the door.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Well, Broadway is its own its own world, right, and
so like our we have a og with us Keisha Lewis,
who's been doing Broadway for forty years, Tony Award winner.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That's the one that made she made and she was
the first one to make me cry.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
You can tell that she is Broadway Royalty and that
it is not a game.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Who do you tell from?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Is it the like when people come out? Is it
your colleagues, like, what is the energy of Broadway Royalty?
Speaker 4 (07:45):
What do you mean? What is it in it? Like?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Basically when she goes out in the crowd, people know
exactly who she is.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Is it the staff? Everybody's just like whatever you want
to do?
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Well, no, it's it's let me say, it's universal. Right
for the people who know Broadway, they know her, and
that's from you know, people who attend Broadway shows as
well as people who book Broadway shows, who direct Broadway shows,
who like, she's on the rolodex of if you can
get her, you get.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Her when it comes to like one thing I've always
wondered too, when you're doing Broadway, ain't no cut?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You know what I'm saying, hannay video cut?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, there's no do over?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Do you improv? Do you forget? Like what happens? What
is a real moment that you've had on stage?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
You have to be able to improv because things happen
in live theater, you know what I mean. And so
you know, we had a mishap where the piano is
supposed to turn in a certain way. I don't think
you remember the same. I don't want to give too
much away.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
But oh I wasn't going to give the scenes away.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
But everything malfunctioned and we still had to deliver the scene.
And sometimes you know, it's it's a lot of silly
people on Broadway time. I'm silly, like I'm a goofball
and a lot of our crew, a lot of our
cast is goofballs too, like really talented, but we're goofballs, right,
And when this thing malfunction and the way I had
(09:10):
to come out and try to still deliver these lines,
people were crying, like the cast is crying.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
The audience wasn't laughing. They didn't know. They didn't know
the audience that's such a funny.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
And the light is on me. I have to stay
in it. It's like it's a very serious moment, and
I have twelve cast members dying laughing while I'm trying.
And then it started out of nowhere and I have
to get my toes on the turn about to turn
(09:45):
with it while still like.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Y'all gotta do it Key and Pill told the actors like.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You just need to turn around, don't lag. You have
to turn around until you get your composure back.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Now, when you read the script of this, because you
play a deadbeat essentially, okay, what you do, that's he's shit,
that's what That's what my daddy says too, all these
years later, he's trying. When you read the script, did
you realize it would evoke so much emotion, because it's
it's essentially without giving the whole story away with what
(10:19):
I love is through music, through just really the character
development that happens past too. You really get to see
who the people are. There's a love story between young
Alicia and her mom, her first crush, then.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Her cheatten too much.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Well, no, no, no, it's all these different stories. I'm not
giving any scenes away. It's it's a seventeen year old
girl battling it was Alicia's story, yeah, battling all of
these relationships. And that's why I thought it was so
phenomenal because the character development between her love of New York,
her love of the people in her building, and then
you have all of these other relationships that take place
(10:54):
while she's learning the piano, and I'm not sure if
that's like the real part. However, fit in I was
just like, wow, this is magnificent. When you see the script, though,
was there anything that you had to look up or
any movies that inspired how you would show up as
a fuck nigga on stage?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Because you did it so well, you did it so well.
Did you do a different accent? Did you have pieces
that a little too good?
Speaker 4 (11:24):
The way you said all of those eloquent things have
been the question that was so good? That was really
I like that a lot. I got sides first, and
so when you get sides, what is that it's the
(11:49):
piece of the script that that you're going to read
to audition for. Okay, So I got sides first, and
I was like, okay, sides only give you but so
much context, you know what I'm saying, instead of having
the full script. Right, So for me it was like, Okay,
I got these sides. Not even sure about doing Broadway period,
but it's the Alicia Keys call. I have to answer that,
(12:12):
And so I said, I said, how about we just
go see it first as opposed to shooting in the dark,
because that's what you can do a lot of times
when you're auditioning and you just get sides. You're shooting
in the dark, and you're so far away from the
actual thing from and what they want, like you're just
you're just and then your whole audition is about correction
(12:36):
rather than you know, adjusting good choices. And so I
went and saw it first the day before my audition.
I said, oh, that's what that is. Got it, And
you know, I didn't have to go see anything because
(12:58):
you know, you know, I unfortunately, I do have a divorce,
and I do have you know, I do have young
young ladies to my first two girls who are part
of that, and unfortunately you know, with them, you know,
living three thousand miles away and all these things that
you know, just over time, I have been part of
(13:19):
things where I have been a disappointment, you know, to
my daughters, and I've had to feel that I've had
to own that. So I know what that is, you know,
I know what that is on missing some birthdays. I
know what it is on missing big moments, like I
know what that is. I've been through it and so
(13:40):
even now still trying to you know, repair that damage
or do whatever I can do as a father now
to just be there and when moments when I wasn't,
that's it drew from me, you know. So it was
very easy to step into this step. It was I'm.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Gonna tell you, Nick Cannon could play the ship out.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
If you want to, you.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Know, outside of the Broadway. Something I've always been curious about.
It's kind of just the pivot of entertainers as they
get older. When I saw the R and B money
was on Black Effect, I was like, wow, can you
tell me, Like, you start off with this life, you're
(14:33):
known for this thing, and then maybe it's not your.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Every day anymore. How what does the pivot look like?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
You Like, when you sign up to do a podcast,
you're like, oh my god, I must be taking a
hell Like that's how everybody treats the evolution.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Of the next job. Like no, no, no, nobody asked
us to do a podcast. It was it was I
was like, I'm watching you know, I'm watching the terrain
and I'm watching Oh I'm I'm watching all of these
cool conversations ramp up about so many things, you know
(15:08):
what I mean, so many great personalities, and and I
was like, man, we need that for R and B.
Like for me, it was creating something out of Anita
all I was hot, like in terms of Tank, Yeah,
I'm still hot. There was no decline to make me
reach for something different.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
For me, it was adding to because you think you
were like a part of like Aliah's career genuine and
I know you ended up having the group later with him,
like you've been a part of R and B since
Mayas was in diapers not to age.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
You know, it's like you've had such a long standing
career and you still do it.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Yeah. But my conversation, so my point was to even
starting it was before anybody else gets a hold of
this conversation that don't know it and haven't lived it, Jay,
why don't we do it?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
How do you feel then when you watch people talk
about music, music, podcast culture commentators, do you think it
is better for someone that's in it?
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Okay, which is why you see NFL Network now high
players hee ESPN hiring the basketball players and the bait
like hiring people who actually understand what it takes to
do it. That's actually easy to take.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, my reasoning Sometimes when people say why are show
over others? I'm like, yeah, y'all understand we're actually ethically
non monogamous girls.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
We're bisexual women.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
We've done all these things we talk about and saying
instead of just commenting on other people's sex lives or trends.
And I really love content direct from the source. Yes, okay,
there's my RMB question I need to ask out of
the new school R and B guys. So, like I'm
someone that listens to Minnie Riverton Luthen and Brent Bias
(16:56):
and love them all and actually might play.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Them on rotation.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
So when it comes to new school R and B,
is it easy to hate on it? Or can you
appreciate the new art?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Who do you like? What are your thoughts about the
new vibe of R and B?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Like you gotta remember that I help usher that in,
you know what I mean. Trap So stuff like I
had I had Ato eight's and Collapse in two thousand
and seven and Please Don't Go, which was the number
one record for me for fifteen weeks I Can't and
the cadences you know, from me to Usher, you know
all the like we we helped do that, you know
(17:30):
what I mean. It's not a it's not a new genre,
it's just more kids are doing it more kids are
they They respond to it and feel it better because
trap is so big now and our and our and
our generation trap wasn't big like that. Yea, yeah, it
got big and kind of took over everything after that,
and then people are like, oh, we need more R
and B to sounds like drap And I'm staying there like, well.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I've been here, but what about the lyrics? Do you
like hearing music like me and my visuals bucking?
Speaker 4 (17:57):
You know what? I can't. I don't hate on how
you communicate it, you know what I'm saying because I
tell every artist listen, there's a million people that say
it and feel it the way you do. If that's
the way you feel it, say it like I can't
tell nobody how to paint, you know what I mean.
If that's the case, we'd have a hundred paintings in
the louver that all look just to like and they don't.
(18:19):
So for me, it's about appreciating how you want to
express your art.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Even then a real R and B era see it again,
it's with that said, is there even then a.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Real R and B?
Speaker 4 (18:33):
A yes? Because we can't and which one is it?
It's still right because everything evolves. It's just like saying,
there's is there's still a real hip hop area era. Yeah,
it just evolves it. Sometimes it sounds different, sometimes it
looks different. Sometimes like before it was androgynous, Prince had
(18:55):
the ruffles and you have to they had you have
to look breed in order to really be R and B.
And now it's now it's the dreads.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
It's almost like the center scene when you're watching of course,
I'm sure you've seen it, of course three times.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That scene shows you so much music's evolution that it
kind of made me appreciate it because as I grown, oh,
I've grown to love music. I feel like people hate
on my musical choices a lot, and I'm like, damn,
but shit just changes, you know, like we can fluctuate.
And I appreciate hearing you say that because I am
kind of tired of the new ways being the wrong one.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
There's no there's no wrong anything. My daughter, my daughter,
my daughter loves oldies. How she and my daughter's seventeen.
Oh oh, one of my daughters I have three. She
she loves the oldies, but she will daddy. I need
a scissor ticket. I need it, period. I have to
(19:53):
have it. Yeah, I need a Tyler the Creator ticket.
Imagine Scott the ticket Tolliver And I'm like, cool, I'm
going with you.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I know that's right.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Let's go get it.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Who's in your mount rushmore than what do you mean?
Speaker 4 (20:09):
In terms of R and B?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Now we can pick all the time and new I I.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
You have to, like we asked the question, you actually
have to give us. You can't start this out.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I can't do four. I can't put four people on
R and B. Is it fun?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
It's five today?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
You know what way to clean that up?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
It can spand yourself.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Only say where where I drew from? That's that's all
I can say.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's yours.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Give me the drew from. It's not a it's not
the best ever, it's it's just who I drew.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, we're cutting all that out.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
You're going to keep all of that. It's a Kelly okay, babyface.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Okay, I with that one.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
No, I fucked the first one to Marvin Gay, Okay,
is there a woman that you were throwing there?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
You don't have to do it now that I said
it in R.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
And B, Damn, he said, y'all, Ain't that good?
Speaker 4 (21:24):
No, no, it's it's it's not. It's not. I come
from church, Okay, so a lot of a lot of
my influences are gospelfluences. If I was to put you
know what, I take that back, Rob Babyface, Marvin Gay,
this will surprise you.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Chris Brown, Oh no, that doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Let's just say take believes in separating the art from
the artists.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I think I think that well because you gotta you know,
in our in ours day, he was dependacle. The way
he is doing it was I mean, he was top
of the food chain. And even it wasn't just the music,
it was the presentation, like when you go back to
Downlaw and and and to separate those two songs from
(22:12):
the remix to the and then add mister Biggs to
it in the cinema and like he made it. He
made it a movie. Nobody like outside of Michael Jackson
who had done that for R and B. Like in
the streets. Babyface was an artist that as a as
a little kid, only singing gospel. When the girls would
(22:33):
ask me to sing a song instead of singing what
a friend we have in Jesus, I could sing a
Babyface song because you know, because these were nice, good songs,
good R and B songs, and that taught me how
to write without all the extras.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
But I'll taught me how to write like your extra cut. No no,
no no, yeah, I mean now the extras are great,
but I learned from Babyface how how to not even
need that?
Speaker 3 (23:00):
What if you had to choose out of these, like
you know, you're Mount Rushmore, what is the perfect R
and B track or artists for baby making music?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Because today I'm fucking to.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Naomi Sharon a little bit of Brent actually Tari's being
coming in and out of there sometimes too, But for
a beautiful, intimate, romantic moment, it's really not the Brint
or the Naomi.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Who would it be?
Speaker 3 (23:24):
What is who is the artist that guaranteed panties off?
The fellas need this one because I don't know what
the fuck the niggas be putting on.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Yeah, you gotta. It depends on the woman.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, I think that's.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Because because because women, you know, women are different now,
you know what I mean? Women? You see you see
more women under than trap post like, so it's it's
like it depends on the woman and what she owned,
if she in that intimate moments, she want to smoke
(24:02):
some weed and get some Hennessy in her body and
get tossed around, or or if she you know, or
if she wants some nice shot a plan and she
really wants somebody look deep into her eyes. You know
what I'm saying. Oh my god, Like it really depends
on like because it's about listening, right, And so you
(24:25):
have to number one, be curious and and ask questions
because no one way works for everything, not in this space.
You know what I mean? Women, every woman is absolutely different.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
You sound like about all of them.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
They're all like something different had the day they do.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
You go, I see, I'm in my day. I had
nothing I'm having.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I want to I want to get away from music
for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
But still digging into one of my favorite records from you.
I made a game from When We which I love
in the remix.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
The remix is the one. God damn it. When they
say what remix is better liked? I think you made
like three. There's a lot of remixes you tried.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Oh my gone, no, they went bananas. If you have
not heard that record one of my favorites. So I
made an ice record to get you to talk a
little bit, sex, little relationship, a little all the things.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
So this one's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
When we bring food into the bedroom to spice things up,
I always suggest you're going to finish the blank So
it's a bunch of win wei's and I want.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
To see what you be doing when we bring food
into the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Have you never brought anything into the bedroom?
Speaker 4 (25:55):
I've tried. And when we say food, the same food,
I'll say ice. That's it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Ice, That's what I'm almost.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
That's the furthest we're going with food, really absolute, Wait.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Why as food failed, you went and play with food?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
You way food like the idea of getting sticky.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Okay, and I'm not mad.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
You gotta wipe that down, he said ice.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
He said, we're not making a mess. Nowhere would I go.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Again? It depends. I mean the ice can go on
to the ice can go in.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Here. That's all he wanted to hear you saying.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Now now here the interesting one into relationships.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
When we argue, it's.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Usually because of miscommunication.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Okay, period, valid. I don't think we have to go
deeper into that. Now here's the fun one.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
When we role play, I always request to.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Be now I'm just making some ship up you've never.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Played before, or what would you like your partner to
dress up as? Like, has there ever been a scenario
where we're like, let's just have fun tonight, let's roll
play something.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
This outfit could be role play. You want to know
what it would be? Okay, all you gotta do is
pull the beanie.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Down you robbing all them banks and see if you
can't steal.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Ship.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Wait, can't let me tell you if you wasn't going
to play tonight, I would have invited you. So I'm
going to quest loft to this game night in New York.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
He was like, Oh, I know how much you love
Sinners Ryan Coolers be there. Please don't say it, because
I'm saying it every day. I'm like, please, Lord, don't
let me get one to kill him play.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
This stated?
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
I know, and I don't care. I don't give a ship.
I'm just gonna be like, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
But you know what, and the thing about that, like
with with with the role play and things like that,
I'm so still aroused and amused by the simple things,
you know what I mean, Like like, you know, like
my wife having on a a T shirt that just
(28:14):
just slightly shows the butchet's just a little bit and
slightly shows the panty and the print up front like that.
That's like, that's that's all I need. Like all like
that easy, my wife, Ladies, you need something absolutely like
she don't have to do a bunch of a bunch
(28:38):
of extra anything. Now listen, I welcome it, for sure,
but I don't require it. I am that much, you know,
ready and available for just the thought of it. Okay,
you're gonna walk around but.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
That have like a lot of money or affluent or
can get any woman say these things that it's simplicity,
like you ain't even got to do too much.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
No, I don't. I find that people with more access
get bore quickly, you know what I mean, and they
have to find other ways, more ways to be stimulated.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I think right now a lot of us actually do,
whether you have money or not, because you can literally
open up your Twitter app or open up the Internet
and it's all right there, all right there.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Now, I want to role play with you just a
little bit. The last question.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
When we're in public, and I whisper in your ear,
I'm telling you finish and I want you to whisper
it so the audience can hear you.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I want to devour oh fe on the bank, train,
the animus and ship.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Okay, we love a big word, and so devour is
not a big word.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Girl. Somebody could say, eat Mandy, I will take devow.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
What you're doing.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Devour my flower, Devour my fly.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
There you have there, there you have it.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Devour my flower. Now I do.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
It wouldn't be us if we had this whole conversation
with you and didn't bring up some of the things
you've said out in public. But before we get there,
we have our book, No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto
of sexual exploration and power coming out. And I wanted
to read a little excerpt from my chapter. Can I
put it back there? This is my chapter around my
(30:29):
sexual views on the anus, and this is just the
few first sentences when I first started fucking. I believe
that if a man wanted to put it in my
ass that he was gay, period, point blank. You could
not tell me otherwise. My Rajanelle was that if I
had this glorious pussy, and I do that there was
(30:49):
no reason he should want to put it in the
back door. To me, when it came to heterosexual sex,
there were only two acceptable orphices, my vagina and my mouth.
I thought of anal sex is something that only gay
men did, and looking back, I attribute this blatant misconception
to many things, including my youth, lack of sexual education,
(31:10):
and let out ignorance.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Now, this chapter goes from my views on.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Me receiving anal sex and then me ben and men
over with a strap. So I had two views on
just anal sex is a pleasurable.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Spot for people.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Now, this chapter, for me, vividly speaks about just where
we are taught a lot of ignorance in terms of
loving ourselves, pleasing ourselves, what it looks like to communicate that,
and specifically within the black community stemming from homophobia.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Now, you've said some things across the internet where people
were like what the fuck.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
One is that you admitted that you like your legs
being raised during oral sex, which we find to be
very vanilla, very easy, like you just like to be comfortable,
you know. The other one is I think if a
guy suckstick twice, he's not gay. Now I would like
to know how you became so confident and comfortable and
(32:13):
not only speaking about sex publicly, but what that looks
like with your partners and how you're navigating teaching black
men specifically to not be shamed and unlearned the unhealthy
things we've learned about sex.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
I think it's more about you know, being open to conversations, okay, right,
and listening to people of other lifestyles, of other whatever
that for you may not make sense, but to discredit
(32:52):
or downgrade their existence, it's not fair within that. And
so you know, me coming from where I come from,
you know, I come from heavy homophobia, okay, heavy Like
it took me a long time to assimulate to the
(33:15):
quote unquote Hollywood environment because you know, I'm kid from Maryland,
you know what I mean, and from the church and
all of these things, and so where a lot of
these things are are are like frowned upon in a sense.
Now you come to Hollywood and you know, homosexuality it's prevalent, right,
(33:38):
And for me, it was very uncomfortable in the beginning.
My stylist is is a gay man. I study you
know this, this person here is and I'm like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Like, at least have you got a good stylist.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
I'm like, I don't. I don't like, like, you know
what I'm saying, I don't. I don't. I don't like
the way looking at what I'm putting these clothes on.
I don't like. And it's all in my mind. I'm
assuming all of these things and it's not until I'll
tell you what happened. I signed Young Lady. She was like,
she was an openly gay rapper Messiah.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh, she was on the TV show.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yes. I signed her, and I signed her because I
thought I thought she was well she is. I thought
she was the most incredibly talented human being from singing, songwriting.
I thought she was like a drake. I was like,
you're dope. I don't know what all's going on with you.
I don't understand anything that's going on with you, but
you're dope. And I signed her and she needed a
(34:35):
place to stay, and I was like, you know, you
can stay with me, and I really I started asking
her questions.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
About her sexuality. She's a woman, yes, and it's easier
for you to do that with a woman versus a man.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
That was just the opportunity that presented itself. And I
just started asking her questions and I'm like, well, how
and why? And as opposed to just you know, trying
to make my belief stick, what kind of questions?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, would you ask?
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Well? The first was why?
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Why?
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Why are you gay?
Speaker 3 (35:13):
I say I had that reaction because for someone that's
so open about gayness, I feel like, the why is
any easy one?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Like because I like it this way.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Now it's easy, I understand it. And I'm like, I'm like,
why are you gay? Like why? How?
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Like?
Speaker 4 (35:32):
Maybe we'll mix them together? And she was like, I
was ever since I can remember desiring anything, I desired
a woman. Okay, I said, interesting, I says you you
you're telling me you were born this way? She said,
I was absolutely born this way. And I had to
take that into consideration outside of all the things I
(35:52):
had been taught into spirit you can pray it out,
it's nothing but the devil and all of these things
that I had been taught. And I had to look
at this woman who was honestly telling me, as long
as I can remember, I've only wanted a woman, and
to this day, I've never wanted a man.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I was like, you know, what's interesting to hear a
man say? And I I liked hearing you say it.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
This way because I've described this to men, like when
you're confused, think about innately how you want women.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
That is literally how my gay friends view it. Is
like I wake up, I feel this, I embody this.
It's the same thing, yes, And then we're trying to
convince you. Imagine me trying to tell you loving your
wife is bad. Now, that could be an extremity in this,
but when it comes to sexuality, Oh.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
It's not the extreme. It's what it's You're right.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Okay, you're right, loving your wife would be bad, right.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
For because that's how strongly we believe yep, that how
we help. That's as strongly we believe against that. Yeah,
it's the same thing reversed. And so like you know,
one of my good friends style is Brian Javar, And
I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
And then you started asking him the same question.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
Well, just you know, just even us in in in
being friends, right, you know what I'm saying, Like I
kindle and that's being friends. And it's like you realize
that who you are is who you are, right and
just because that's your friend or just because you know
y'all hang out on the case, doesn't mean that you're
that yeah, doesn't mean that this becomes you. And so
(37:29):
a lot of times with men, you know, especially you know,
but when we were in that hyper masculine space, we
don't want nothing around us that's going to chip away
at that masculinity. We don't want nobody associated with us
that's gonna chip away at that masculinity. And that, to
(37:49):
me is an insecurity.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
How did you go from that brain to being a guy?
I remember the day you said it. I was smiling,
laugh I'm like.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
This, I just you gotta stop worrying about what everybody
else thinks.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Because you still believe that today. What is that dick twice?
Speaker 4 (38:08):
And I well, how comes twice? I know that? And
when when the number was put on it, that was all.
But I do know that again, in speaking with with
people who are gay, they are actually gay. It's not
it wasn't an experiment once in high school or an
(38:29):
experiment once in college, and then they actually found them
their true selves and now they exist in whatever way
that is. No, it's no, this is what I am
and this is how I'm living. This is my life.
I kind of stopped saying lifestyle, right, this is my life.
I am. I am gay that's what they're saying. And
(38:51):
so I think that there's a great difference between people
who have tried things and people who are things. That
was my point.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I like to a lifestyle word, just take that.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
Out of context because it's the internet. The internet, and
then it went from a story about somebody to me,
and that's the ignorance of social media. But I don't
you know, again, none of that bothers.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
You know. I never thought it was you.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
But one thing I did think when I saw it
was something I say often.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
This is a memory that will stick out to me forever.
Although gay, I grew up in the South, I know
how we think of men that are gay. I used
to even sometimes have that language. When I was young.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
I never believed niggas could be by you know, I
was one of them. Girl, Like, now once you do it.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
You gay.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Go to Europe with my best friend. He's on a
date with a dude in Rome. He's like, girl, this
place is lit, come meet us. I show up to
the bar and the guy was like, oh my god,
there's Italian dude. He's like, he didn't tell your friend
looked like this, mind you They was kissing.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
He's like, I want to fuck to both of you.
So I'm laughing because I was a movie. Oh it
felt like a movie. We're in Europe.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
I'm twenty one and we're on this boat in Italy
and my friend is like, I really don't want to
fuck you, but he's fine, I want to fuck it too,
but now you.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
A can like I ain't got a choice.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
And this guy back and forth all night is touching
both of us, so into us and I went home.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Called my mom.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
The next day, I was like, Wow, Europe and men
have the freedom to be gay. I didn't say they're
really by there are exploring sexuality, but they actually can
do this.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I believed it.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I believed men could be by From that day I
watched this guy the way he was attracted back and forth,
and it made me sad because I know black men
don't have that.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
What black men where I'm gonna pull up and that
could happen where.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
In La Well, I don't think it's I don't think
it's dedicated to black men, right, you think it's.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
An American thing, because I do feel like it might be.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I think white people can play around a little bit.
I don't think black men can. I think black women
can play around, but.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It also like it also has a lot of history
reconnected to it when it comes to black men, right,
I don't it's not just reserved for black men, but
when you think about the history of black men in
America specifically, and and the methods that were used to
make to e masculate and make us less than that's
(41:18):
where it gets kind of triggering for black men. But
you know, ultimately, I think and just believe that you're
you're gonna be what you are, and in terms of
finding people who are like you or or or or
are into the things that you're into, you just have
to be patient and in figuring out who and where
(41:40):
those people are.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
That's a good point. Finding your tribe is all that
matter is.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
Somebody, and that's really all that matters. You know. I
was I was sitting on the plane next to a
young guy football player and he was like, you know,
how do I manage all of this? He's got the money.
You know, he's he's on TV. You know what I'm saying.
They all own them, you know what I'm saying. He's like,
(42:04):
I'm a I'm a young you know, I grew up
in the church. I think I know what's right, and
I'm just what what do I do? And I said,
and I said, I said, young fella, good luck, fuck luck,
young rich fella. Do it how you would like to
(42:24):
do it, Like honestly and unapologetically do it how you
would like to do it, and make sure that the
people within this space, all who are involved, understand what
that is. I was like, be honest, be honest with yourself,
and be honest with the person or the people around you,
(42:48):
and live it exactly how you want to live it
and judge from there. Decide from there like what works
and what doesn't work. But while you're young, and while
you have options, do what you would like to do.
Don't hurt nobody, you know what I mean, But do
(43:08):
what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
He basically said, put a condom on a fuck them all.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I cannot wait to put violent strings behind you, saying
that that was so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
You to do, because it's because.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Not what everyone thinks that you would be feeling.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
You should do, or you know, because there's so many
influences and so many traditions that can lead you into
a space that you don't belong in.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yeah, how long did it take?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
You to figure that out and to get in a
space where you're at now.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
I mean, I'm forty nine, so even at forty nine,
I'm still evolving, learning and growing.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I only didn't make the shock face because I googled it.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
So so you know, even a lot of the ideas
that I speak of now are are years old. You
know what I mean, because you know, still learning, still evolving,
and and still still growing into a space where everything
for me is grace.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
I love that now for decisions decisions.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Yes, we get into relationships though, and I want to
talk to you and hopefully our audience can take some
tips from you as well on how to find love again.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Now.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I talked about double backing and we kind of made
the synopsis here that it doesn't work. Once you lose somebody,
you shouldn't go back and xyz elemental P. However, you
took a break from your wife and fiance wife, y'all
have been together for the spand of like twenty years altogether,
but y'all took about six years of a break you
(44:45):
co parented. I want to know what it looked like
for you to take that space and find your way
back and how you.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
Got back you know what I wish. I wish that
I had the science on it right, Okay, because we
didn't actually get together. We hadn't known each other for
she danced on my first video. We hadn't known each other,
you know, kind of offing on, messing or whatever, messing around.
(45:14):
We didn't get together until like two thousand and four,
broke up in like two thousand and six, then had
a baby in two thousand and seven. And during all
this time there was you know, there's a lot of beef,
you know what I mean. I don't like you. You know,
(45:34):
maybe you don't like me a little bit, but I
really don't like you. And she was moving on doing anything.
I was moving on doing my thing, what have you.
And in the midst of a breakup, you know, we're
still cold parenting cool people's. She was always super solid
as a as a mom, okay, super solid to co
(45:56):
parent with, like just rolled with roll with all punches,
and not all the punches were fair, but she rolled
with them, you know what I mean, super solid. And
after a breakup, we just started we started talking more,
(46:16):
you know what I mean. And just because it's like
the second time around, like those conversations communications are easier. Okay,
you're not hiding as much anymore, Like you didn't sing
the worst of it. Now the conversations are really on,
like well this is how I feel, and well this
(46:39):
is how I feel, and you're able to have those
conversations and nobody takes it away, doesn't feel a way,
And so we were able to communicate what I feel
like at a higher level on this re entry, which
just which just felt weird to me because in my mind,
I was like, I'll never ever in a million years
(47:00):
be with this woman and the same and and and
then all of a sudden, we're having these high level
conversations about friendship and life, and you know, they were like,
we want to go to the movies.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Maybe it's because the romance is taken out. Do you
think there's I know you don't have the science, but
I have heard people say when the pressure is gone,
they can have this resurgence of romance.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
I think it was. I think it was. It wasn't
romance at first, it was like we truly became friendship. Friendship.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
What did it looks like? Like? How did you forgive
someone that you literally said at one point.
Speaker 4 (47:36):
I like her at all Forgiveness is about accountability on
whose end listen, okay, listen. Forgiveness is about looking in
the mirror as a as a person who is not
trying to forgive, and saying to the person in the mirror,
(47:58):
he without sin cast the first like you got caught.
I didn't, but we being real, I was do that.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
M hmm.
Speaker 4 (48:23):
If we being real, I was old that universe had
to get I got to eat that. Oh for being real.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
And you knew how you showed up and the ship
that you had done.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
I knew what was in the dark, even if she
didn't know. And and and and men are really good
at that. How dare you? How dare you text that? Dude?
How dare you respond to that? Dam? M hm?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Do you know? Oh, we can't wait?
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Get my notepas and you just basically are like, I
know what the hell I'm doing?
Speaker 4 (49:08):
We gotta we gotta, we gotta be real and the
in me and me looking myself in the mirror and
tell them and being truthful about who I am and
what I was was Was's how I was able to
be like you know what, I'm not perfect, She's not perfect.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
The mean thing that caused a riff.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Somewhat somewhat Yeah?
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Is it just for women listening?
Speaker 3 (49:37):
I made a joke you know when I was like, oh,
you know this is hohost shit earlier whatever? Is it
almost inevitable with someone in entertainment because of the options?
Is it almost inevitably inevitable because it's like it's being
thrown at you at your lifestyle the character of tank
versus who you are at home?
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Like, is it is it hard to avoid?
Speaker 4 (49:56):
It? Is that it is also inevitable in your youth? Right?
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Well? You consider like, so when do they stop? Tell
you women, for the most.
Speaker 4 (50:04):
Part, when you're young. When you're young, I'm gonna say
for women and men, women get horny as motherfucker.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
Too, and they don't know. We was host most of
my friends.
Speaker 4 (50:12):
Cheek listen when you're young and hot and bothered and
won't it should happens? Should happen?
Speaker 3 (50:21):
What age do you think there's a shift for men though,
when they like, hey, having it too?
Speaker 4 (50:28):
Not even there now? If they got these pills out.
You know, I got a new line. Uh uh stiff
bull bang bang tea. We will get to all of that. Yeah,
you have a new line.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
I've been trying to dilute my man's mocker root, Like
I know how horny is.
Speaker 4 (50:45):
Listen you, that's funny. I think that again a lot
of times I say everything is based on the individual
and and and the experience it is. It is like,
no nobody can make you do anything, like like, yep,
no situation can make you do anything. It has to
be for you. You know what I'm saying. If you're going
(51:06):
to be solid and faithful or if you're not, it's
it's on you.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
I literally say that if there's not gun to head,
you have the wherewithal to make the decisions. It's to leave,
to walk away, to stay, to put up with it,
to tell your friends and not tell your friends.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
But I do think it could be harder with men
and entertainment not giving men slack. But for example, if
I'm on a diet, it's easy if I ain't got
no crazy food in the house. Now when I'm going
out to restaurants and choosing not to eat, it's like,
right now we're not drinking. I'm not drinking because I'm
trying to cut and lean out. Right, Oh why am
I going to parties like it's.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
The met weekend? Like Monday we got I'm like, bro,
this is tough.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
And it's tougher in the environment.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Now if I'm home, I'm going breaking up at a
certain time.
Speaker 4 (51:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
So I can't imagine pussy and the best pussy, different
colored pussies, different kinds, flavors and shit.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
I know when we talk we lean into like the
entertainer of it all. But growing up in Orlando, if
you're in small cities, there's men that have a plethora
of options in even Middle America, small cities, Like, it's
not just status, it's not just power.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
A lot of men have a lot of options a
lot of times in their own listen.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
And it's cast in the hood.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
They got the full.
Speaker 2 (52:22):
There's there's options and they but they don't have they
have options, they don't have discernment.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
That's the problem.
Speaker 4 (52:30):
Are they just the means are just different.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I mean we're only as good as our options. That's
the truth of it all. Like you can have a
funny looking nigga, tell me he's good to his wife.
I bet you are, Bet you are. You can have
a wealthy man tell me that it's hard, and I
bet it is. Like I really do believe It's our options.
It's why certain people act certain ways. What we're like,
we're a product of those options, having a roster, a
(52:55):
plethoro of people falling at you. It's celebrity status too
as well. Even if you're not attractive, people just want
to fucking around you. We've all been around that person
that's super famous and we're like, damn, you know what,
I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
And especially right you're just like, I know I'm mean,
but what the fuck? How does this person do it?
I want to ask you before we get out of here.
We haven't dove into the episode just yet, but being
that you communicate, you've unlearned some things, you're open to
learning more things within your relationship.
Speaker 1 (53:24):
What do your boundaries look like?
Speaker 2 (53:26):
We've been talking about boundaries, compromise versus sacrifice and all
these things. Do you have a boundary that you've set
forth that you won't cross or what does it look
like to compromise with your partner?
Speaker 1 (53:36):
What does that kind of entail?
Speaker 4 (53:38):
I mean, we we we really communicate about everything everything.
Like my wife is one of those women that'll say
anything okay, Like she'll say it and then that oh yeah,
I shouldn't said it like that, like she's she's that person. Absolutely,
(53:58):
it's spice, is it? Because I'm non reactive?
Speaker 1 (54:02):
We see how long you take to answer question?
Speaker 4 (54:04):
You know how you like you have a your Wow,
I just writing the big dogs and things like this,
that's you. That's how So you know me. I'm just
about you know, I'm just about respect and appreciation because
(54:25):
I'm getting out in the field and I'm going to
make sure that your feet don't touch the ground. Just
respect and appreciate that, Okay, And that's it. I'm I'm
when they say men are simple creatures, they're talking about
me like food, food, water, power, you got you gotta
(54:49):
give me the flowers, uh, food, sex, and and and
and occasionally letting me know that I'm doing a good job.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Oh affirmation okay? And how many years have you move
with your wife?
Speaker 4 (55:07):
We have we're going on seven years of marriage this year.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
So when we sat down with Envy DJ Envy and
his wife, Yeah, I asked, at what point do you
just stop fighting and or what point does it just
get easier? Do you feel that you've even reached it
seven years that it's just seamless, that it's just easy
that you know each other better, has that hit?
Speaker 4 (55:28):
Yeah, we know each other very well. But you know,
spice just is what it is. It's just it's just
organically spicy.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
Do you like a little toxic? Do you?
Speaker 4 (55:37):
And my wife is going to find some spice to
throw to start the dash.
Speaker 1 (55:44):
Of at front?
Speaker 4 (55:45):
Is this liberal woman will figure out some spice. I'm
a capricorn, Oh, Jane Janeuay first, damn? Yeah, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
A holiday birthday too. I'm curious when is your birthday?
You'd be like, like, is it annoying that everybody's come
over on your birthday?
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Do you just celebrated? Is it New York?
Speaker 4 (56:07):
It annoyed me as a kid because they would group
my birthday gifts for my Christmas gift. It's still got.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
You got your birthday gifts on Christmas.
Speaker 4 (56:21):
I don't do that to my son because because his
birthday January first?
Speaker 1 (56:26):
What the wow?
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Yeah? Yeah, see she she had a she had a
baby on my birthday. That's how she got the job.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Was that her due date?
Speaker 4 (56:35):
That was her January first?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
That is so weird.
Speaker 4 (56:38):
And I said, I said, listen, I got you. Don't
roll with me. Give me a baby as a gift
you good, that's good for life's special. But yeah, so,
I mean, but she's spisy. She can't help herself, like
it's not like she can control it, like she's she's
just swixy. And then don't let you know you know
(56:59):
how how you know your hormones get when that time
when the month comes and things just get thrown off,
bounced a little bit. Oh when that when the spikes
really pick up. I know what's going on. And then
I have to give her so much great, I'm like, great.
Speaker 1 (57:13):
She looked like, let me see, she's gorgeous. Does she looks?
Does she got the looks gorgeous? You know, when women
are so fine, you be like, what's remember the guy
that they were hot and crazy smell.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
From Saint Looisa.
Speaker 1 (57:24):
Fine? Oh I forgot a fun woman right there. Oh yes,
I see, I could see the crazy. I see it.
It's the eyes. It's the eyes.
Speaker 4 (57:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (57:36):
I love this picture of you too.
Speaker 4 (57:38):
That's from the front of my first video.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Shoot, first video shoot.
Speaker 4 (57:42):
First video shoot.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
And he has on leather pants of course that's what
we did, dated.
Speaker 4 (57:49):
White and a bandanna. I ain't got no bandanas, but
I tell you right now I gotta, I gotta. I
got a tank top and some leather pants in the closet.
Speaker 1 (57:57):
You know you got a tank?
Speaker 4 (57:58):
Stay ready to.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Be Wait before we get out of here. How'd you
get your name? Don't tell you the tank top?
Speaker 2 (58:05):
No, I wish I wish it was you said he
got that tank in the pants.
Speaker 4 (58:10):
I wish.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
The Caribbean mom to fucking do Tank.
Speaker 3 (58:20):
I'm talking about Lord Jesus, are you here in the
room with us? And she over looked, like kept the
boris kujo?
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Tank? Yes, he is.
Speaker 4 (58:30):
I say that. My grandmother named me Tank. My cousins
were making fun of me because I had a big
hit in the big stomach.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
That is hilarious from Geekko hilarious.
Speaker 4 (58:45):
So my grandma was like, that's my tank. Boy, leaves
him alone, Come here Tank, and just started calling because.
Speaker 1 (58:50):
Your head, that's hilarious.
Speaker 4 (58:52):
Dog.
Speaker 1 (58:53):
If y'all haven't uh. There are over a hundred episodes.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
Of R and B Money correct hundred in fifty there's
a ton and guess you and Jay Valentine hosted. One
of my favorite episodes was when y'all had Tearan He's
a friend of mine. I love Torn so much, love
that that episode. I was like, and he always drops
gems and tells the best stories, which I think I
love about R and B Money so much.
Speaker 1 (59:19):
You get the people so comfortable they do the stories.
Speaker 4 (59:22):
And they really they're really the drivers, you know what
I mean, their conversations and their experiences and no, no, no no, they.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
Say with other people, it's not the same. No, no, no, no,
they're not the drivers.
Speaker 4 (59:34):
Well we know why. You know why. You know why
because we're of the cloth, right, you know what I mean,
we we are, we are active, and so our sensibilities
are just different. Yeah, you know, our conversation is just
different because we do it. And so they I mean
when they sit on our couch, you know, they they
(59:55):
don't just feel comfortable, they feel appreciated. I mean they
feel thata tell you like, we know what you're doing,
what it is that you do, and how hard it
is to do it. We love you and appreciate you.
This is your space.
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Period, y'all. Check out R and B Money.
Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Yeah, if you are coming to New York anytime, you
must see Hell's.
Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Kitchen, please tell us so highly on the stage.
Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
Yeah, so, y'all have a good.
Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Amount of time our listeners New York, y'all, this is
one of our biggest audiences. If you're traveling to New York,
you must. I'm telling y'all now you must see Hell's Kitchen.
And if you're a patron, I because it was so good.
This isn't because Tank right here. I promise you it's
not because I would have told them if it was
mid it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
I am giving away two pairs of tickets to go
see Hell's Kitchen to our patrons. So go on over
to our Patreon community. That's patreon dot com. Backslash horrible Decisions.
And then also, I was talking to your manager before
we get out of here. You have a new single
out with Alisa.
Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
Yes, all gone shout out to a black Round record,
shout with the Barry Hankerson. Okay, they called me with
this idea, Sean Garrett, who actually helped, you know, reproduce
it together. You just wanted the greatest and you know
they had the idea to to to make me a
part of it. Wow, And for me it was it
(01:01:20):
was a no brainer. You know what I mean. Any
opportunity I get to pay homage to a Leah to
just keep her legacy and her memory.
Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Well, I do want to tell you because I was
looking for it today. It is exclusively on bk stream,
so bokaystreamai dot com if you guys want to hear that.
But I'm literally I was like, Okay, I guess I gotta.
Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
Go get on.
Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Uh this app. I love any which way that they're adding.
Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
And what I want to add to that is that
I think, you know, I think people, you know, when
judging these things and critiquing these things, want people to
have a little more grace because the song.
Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
Is a or no it's not.
Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
But we're dealing with you know, we're dealing with vocals
that are decades and decades all. We're going to salvage
a lot of things and put things together the best
way we can to sound the best they can to
honor her. You know, I'm not I'm not making a
bunch of money to do this, you know what I mean.
Blackground is not making a bunch of money to do this.
(01:02:29):
But what we are doing is we're ensuring that Aliyah,
who's important to I think all of us, that that
that her spirit and that her legacy remains continues, it
continues to live, and it's continued in conversation and we're
and we're really just doing the best we can.
Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
People will appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
People can it just can be too judgmental when they
don't understand the process everything. But just know that you
know we're doing our best.
Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
We're not going to judge this. You're just gonna judge
that old clip year bro. Thank you so much, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
Make sure you go ahead and pre order our book,
No holds bar to doing Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power.
And again I'm giving out two pairs of the tickets
two Hell's Kitchen on Broadway in New York City because
you're gonna spend your money on nhbtour dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
You will, you will NHB tour dot com. Make sure
you check us out.
Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
And I think that's it, so y'all, thank you so
much for tuning in to yet another episode of Decisions,
Decisions Yane
Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to this person.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
You definitely say to welcome, Welcome to the new podcast.
You want to say together decisions decisions. Hey guys, girl,
welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions.
Speaker 3 (00:24):
You know, we got to guess some fine because we
were doing different ship. Let us have somebody who we
just don't care about it O.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Welcome back everybody. Now, this whole got the moment. I'm
your girl, man, d P, I'm weazy and it's a
threesome today. That's right.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
We are joined by we could call them a cousin,
so we're not doing incests. So technically it's not that
our black fam How far my cousin removed?
Speaker 1 (00:49):
All right, girl, a marriage cousin or.
Speaker 4 (00:53):
Like distant country cousin at the cookout? Did you ain't
know what you right now?
Speaker 3 (00:57):
When I went to my family union, there was like, oh,
that's one with the white daddy, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:03):
We have singer songwriter Broadway song the motherfucker Bauldy.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
It's all required when you're a musician to wear shirts
like that, Like why do It's always just you gotta
see it a little bit, a little bumps in arms.
Speaker 5 (01:19):
If you have it, Oh, don't come on here, even
the little squinty eyes. We just need you to beg
It's not my fault because it's looking.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Like no, I'm not like, I'm not trying to smolder.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
That's when people ask you d be like, yeah, I'm
a tenth Asiana.
Speaker 4 (01:38):
I wake up smoldering. You know what I mean? I
felt I feel like I am.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
I think the energy though, is beautiful because like we're
making fun of it, but it is also the allure
to be a good singer. To me, it's having that
like sexual energy, having that natural just I don't know,
I don't even want to call it flirting, but it's
almost like the attentiveness.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Oh, I'm not gonna lie. It's what I say.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Said is wrong with R and B today, Like they'd
be talking about like some fuck niggas ship but they're ugly,
like they're not attractive enough to be saying the things
they're saying. And I'm not saying names. I'm just saying
that to me is what is a little bit wrong
with male R and B today? Like where is the
fine ones at?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
You know? What and to that, I can say it's
very subjective in terms of what you think is attractive.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
Because back in his day he looked I think he
was girl.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Okay, okay, I'll just try to be like he was
a handsome man, but he wasn't because we're not allowed
to call people that ain't not.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
But think about this though, it wasn't necessarily like it
wasn't necessarily like if they were lookers, just like you know,
just without anything right, but the presentation overall, like when
you saw what Luther had on you, you saw what Martin,
what what Marvin had on when you saw the temptations
(03:00):
had on the way the way they walked it and
talked it. You know what I'm saying, It was like this,
Oh there's something there that is attractive. It doesn't necessarily
have to be that you are physically attractive. But let's
get into this word aura. Right, are your energy? You're
you know what I'm saying. There are things that are
attractive and these things are curated.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
What women do you.
Speaker 3 (03:22):
Think have it that are like we can call it
out like who has that aura that's a singer and
entertain a period, Like who do you think has it?
Because to me, Alicia Wan of Alsha could wear a
cargo jeans and a stud fit and we like, what
it's goddess energy.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's crazy.
Speaker 4 (03:39):
You know what. I always refrain from from speaking on
women who have husbands.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
I'm respectful that we don't know, as.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
Alicia's had it since since day one?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
Right, speaking of Alicia, yes, and speaking of Aura, she
brought up but I got to see you live Hell's
Kitchen on Broadway loosely based around Alicia Keys's story. And
before you said a word? Is this a normal reaction
to before you said a word? Before you did a who?
(04:17):
The aunties in the crowd was like, whoa, honey?
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Was your shirt on?
Speaker 2 (04:22):
No girl fully clothed. He walked on stage with little
squinty eyes and just like I did you did?
Speaker 4 (04:30):
I the piano on stage? That did not squid my eyes.
Speaker 1 (04:37):
While he was rolling the piano, he was like, and
what I say?
Speaker 2 (04:42):
He didn't say a word, and the girls in the
audience was just like Then he started singing, I do
want to say, y'all. I know I've been talking about
going to Broadway shows. I've been gassing for weeks going
to coe Othello, you told us during the Black Effect
Fest that you were on Broadway. I had known Health's kitchen, y'all,
where's my camera? By far, probably be bad. I've never
(05:07):
cried on Broadway until I saw this show.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
By the way, the girl went to see Othello day before,
and I still it was gas in Hell's Kitchen.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
No, so I said, I loved it. Let me tell
you though, real quick.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
So when I see him at the Black Back Fest,
I said, oh, you're on Broadway, and he's like, I'm
one of the best Broadway starts.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I said, you know, Denzel on it.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
And so I went to see Othello, went to see
Hell's Kitchen, and y'all, I bawled four times. The I
went with al writer tempest. I went with my good friend,
uh Britt. I looked up all you here from behind
us in front of us, the white people stood up.
(05:46):
Hold on, white people stood up and said that was
that was magnificent. So it's not like.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
And what did you say? What word did you use?
Speaker 2 (05:56):
I said, that was good as fucking I'm glad we
was all crying together.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
It was so good. I do want to know how
is it different?
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Because I'm so glad you're here today, because you've been
using them vocals.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
How is it different from touring? And and have.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
You acted before, Like, how has Broadway been different for
you than anything else you've done.
Speaker 4 (06:15):
I've done theater before. Okay, it was traveling theater, and
thank god I've done that before. It kind of helped
prepare me for this. But Broadway is the pinnacle, you
know what I mean? When you get the Broadway, this
is what theater is, super super theater on forty four.
This is where you know you you are, you are
(06:37):
made or broken, and you know, the the critique is
a lot different, the excellence that is required a lot different.
The people, the talent on Broadway is different. Actor, you mean,
all of.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
It's saying all of it the Broadway culture because for
most of us, we go to New York on a trip,
we go on to day ticks, We just figuring out
what we're going to see, right, But the culture of
the people that actually go, like what's the vibe when
you walk in the door.
Speaker 4 (07:11):
Well, Broadway is its own its own world, right, and
so like our we have a og with us Keisha Lewis,
who's been doing Broadway for forty years, Tony Award winner.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
That's the one that made she made and she was
the first one to make me cry.
Speaker 4 (07:28):
You can tell that she is Broadway Royalty and that
it is not a game.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Who do you tell from?
Speaker 3 (07:37):
Is it the like when people come out? Is it
your colleagues, like, what is the energy of Broadway Royalty?
Speaker 4 (07:45):
What do you mean? What is it in it? Like?
Speaker 1 (07:46):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (07:47):
Basically when she goes out in the crowd, people know
exactly who she is.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
Is it the staff? Everybody's just like whatever you want
to do?
Speaker 4 (07:53):
Well, no, it's it's let me say, it's universal. Right
for the people who know Broadway, they know her, and
that's from you know, people who attend Broadway shows as
well as people who book Broadway shows, who direct Broadway shows,
who like, she's on the rolodex of if you can
get her, you get.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Her when it comes to like one thing I've always
wondered too, when you're doing Broadway, ain't no cut?
Speaker 1 (08:20):
You know what I'm saying, hannay video cut?
Speaker 4 (08:24):
Yeah, there's no do over?
Speaker 3 (08:25):
Do you improv? Do you forget? Like what happens? What
is a real moment that you've had on stage?
Speaker 4 (08:31):
You have to be able to improv because things happen
in live theater, you know what I mean. And so
you know, we had a mishap where the piano is
supposed to turn in a certain way. I don't think
you remember the same. I don't want to give too
much away.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
But oh I wasn't going to give the scenes away.
Speaker 4 (08:47):
But everything malfunctioned and we still had to deliver the scene.
And sometimes you know, it's it's a lot of silly
people on Broadway time. I'm silly, like I'm a goofball
and a lot of our crew, a lot of our
cast is goofballs too, like really talented, but we're goofballs, right,
And when this thing malfunction and the way I had
(09:10):
to come out and try to still deliver these lines,
people were crying, like the cast is crying.
Speaker 1 (09:18):
The audience wasn't laughing. They didn't know. They didn't know
the audience that's such a funny.
Speaker 4 (09:23):
And the light is on me. I have to stay
in it. It's like it's a very serious moment, and
I have twelve cast members dying laughing while I'm trying.
And then it started out of nowhere and I have
to get my toes on the turn about to turn
(09:45):
with it while still like.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Y'all gotta do it Key and Pill told the actors like.
Speaker 1 (09:52):
You just need to turn around, don't lag. You have
to turn around until you get your composure back.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Now, when you read the script of this, because you
play a deadbeat essentially, okay, what you do, that's he's shit,
that's what That's what my daddy says too, all these
years later, he's trying. When you read the script, did
you realize it would evoke so much emotion, because it's
it's essentially without giving the whole story away with what
(10:19):
I love is through music, through just really the character
development that happens past too. You really get to see
who the people are. There's a love story between young
Alicia and her mom, her first crush, then.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Her cheatten too much.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Well, no, no, no, it's all these different stories. I'm not
giving any scenes away. It's it's a seventeen year old
girl battling it was Alicia's story, yeah, battling all of
these relationships. And that's why I thought it was so
phenomenal because the character development between her love of New York,
her love of the people in her building, and then
you have all of these other relationships that take place
(10:54):
while she's learning the piano, and I'm not sure if
that's like the real part. However, fit in I was
just like, wow, this is magnificent. When you see the script, though,
was there anything that you had to look up or
any movies that inspired how you would show up as
a fuck nigga on stage?
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Because you did it so well, you did it so well.
Did you do a different accent? Did you have pieces
that a little too good?
Speaker 4 (11:24):
The way you said all of those eloquent things have
been the question that was so good? That was really
I like that a lot. I got sides first, and
so when you get sides, what is that it's the
(11:49):
piece of the script that that you're going to read
to audition for. Okay, So I got sides first, and
I was like, okay, sides only give you but so
much context, you know what I'm saying, instead of having
the full script. Right, So for me it was like, Okay,
I got these sides. Not even sure about doing Broadway period,
but it's the Alicia Keys call. I have to answer that,
(12:12):
And so I said, I said, how about we just
go see it first as opposed to shooting in the dark,
because that's what you can do a lot of times
when you're auditioning and you just get sides. You're shooting
in the dark, and you're so far away from the
actual thing from and what they want, like you're just
you're just and then your whole audition is about correction
(12:36):
rather than you know, adjusting good choices. And so I
went and saw it first the day before my audition.
I said, oh, that's what that is. Got it, And
you know, I didn't have to go see anything because
(12:58):
you know, you know, I unfortunately, I do have a divorce,
and I do have you know, I do have young
young ladies to my first two girls who are part
of that, and unfortunately you know, with them, you know,
living three thousand miles away and all these things that
you know, just over time, I have been part of
(13:19):
things where I have been a disappointment, you know, to
my daughters, and I've had to feel that I've had
to own that. So I know what that is, you know,
I know what that is on missing some birthdays. I
know what it is on missing big moments, like I
know what that is. I've been through it and so
(13:40):
even now still trying to you know, repair that damage
or do whatever I can do as a father now
to just be there and when moments when I wasn't,
that's it drew from me, you know. So it was
very easy to step into this step. It was I'm.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Gonna tell you, Nick Cannon could play the ship out.
Speaker 4 (14:05):
If you want to, you.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Know, outside of the Broadway. Something I've always been curious about.
It's kind of just the pivot of entertainers as they
get older. When I saw the R and B money
was on Black Effect, I was like, wow, can you
tell me, Like, you start off with this life, you're
(14:33):
known for this thing, and then maybe it's not your.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Every day anymore. How what does the pivot look like?
Speaker 3 (14:39):
You Like, when you sign up to do a podcast,
you're like, oh my god, I must be taking a
hell Like that's how everybody treats the evolution.
Speaker 4 (14:46):
Of the next job. Like no, no, no, nobody asked
us to do a podcast. It was it was I
was like, I'm watching you know, I'm watching the terrain
and I'm watching Oh I'm I'm watching all of these
cool conversations ramp up about so many things, you know
(15:08):
what I mean, so many great personalities, and and I
was like, man, we need that for R and B.
Like for me, it was creating something out of Anita
all I was hot, like in terms of Tank, Yeah,
I'm still hot. There was no decline to make me
reach for something different.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
For me, it was adding to because you think you
were like a part of like Aliah's career genuine and
I know you ended up having the group later with him,
like you've been a part of R and B since
Mayas was in diapers not to age.
Speaker 1 (15:43):
You know, it's like you've had such a long standing
career and you still do it.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Yeah. But my conversation, so my point was to even
starting it was before anybody else gets a hold of
this conversation that don't know it and haven't lived it, Jay,
why don't we do it?
Speaker 3 (16:01):
How do you feel then when you watch people talk
about music, music, podcast culture commentators, do you think it
is better for someone that's in it?
Speaker 4 (16:09):
Okay, which is why you see NFL Network now high
players hee ESPN hiring the basketball players and the bait
like hiring people who actually understand what it takes to
do it. That's actually easy to take.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Yeah, my reasoning Sometimes when people say why are show
over others? I'm like, yeah, y'all understand we're actually ethically
non monogamous girls.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
We're bisexual women.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
We've done all these things we talk about and saying
instead of just commenting on other people's sex lives or trends.
And I really love content direct from the source. Yes, okay,
there's my RMB question I need to ask out of
the new school R and B guys. So, like I'm
someone that listens to Minnie Riverton Luthen and Brent Bias
(16:56):
and love them all and actually might play.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Them on rotation.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
So when it comes to new school R and B,
is it easy to hate on it? Or can you
appreciate the new art?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Who do you like? What are your thoughts about the
new vibe of R and B?
Speaker 4 (17:09):
Like you gotta remember that I help usher that in,
you know what I mean. Trap So stuff like I
had I had Ato eight's and Collapse in two thousand
and seven and Please Don't Go, which was the number
one record for me for fifteen weeks I Can't and
the cadences you know, from me to Usher, you know
all the like we we helped do that, you know
(17:30):
what I mean. It's not a it's not a new genre,
it's just more kids are doing it more kids are
they They respond to it and feel it better because
trap is so big now and our and our and
our generation trap wasn't big like that. Yea, yeah, it
got big and kind of took over everything after that,
and then people are like, oh, we need more R
and B to sounds like drap And I'm staying there like, well.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I've been here, but what about the lyrics? Do you
like hearing music like me and my visuals bucking?
Speaker 4 (17:57):
You know what? I can't. I don't hate on how
you communicate it, you know what I'm saying because I
tell every artist listen, there's a million people that say
it and feel it the way you do. If that's
the way you feel it, say it like I can't
tell nobody how to paint, you know what I mean.
If that's the case, we'd have a hundred paintings in
the louver that all look just to like and they don't.
(18:19):
So for me, it's about appreciating how you want to
express your art.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Even then a real R and B era see it again,
it's with that said, is there even then a.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
Real R and B?
Speaker 4 (18:33):
A yes? Because we can't and which one is it?
It's still right because everything evolves. It's just like saying,
there's is there's still a real hip hop area era. Yeah,
it just evolves it. Sometimes it sounds different, sometimes it
looks different. Sometimes like before it was androgynous, Prince had
(18:55):
the ruffles and you have to they had you have
to look breed in order to really be R and B.
And now it's now it's the dreads.
Speaker 1 (19:03):
It's almost like the center scene when you're watching of course,
I'm sure you've seen it, of course three times.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
That scene shows you so much music's evolution that it
kind of made me appreciate it because as I grown, oh,
I've grown to love music. I feel like people hate
on my musical choices a lot, and I'm like, damn,
but shit just changes, you know, like we can fluctuate.
And I appreciate hearing you say that because I am
kind of tired of the new ways being the wrong one.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
There's no there's no wrong anything. My daughter, my daughter,
my daughter loves oldies. How she and my daughter's seventeen.
Oh oh, one of my daughters I have three. She
she loves the oldies, but she will daddy. I need
a scissor ticket. I need it, period. I have to
(19:53):
have it. Yeah, I need a Tyler the Creator ticket.
Imagine Scott the ticket Tolliver And I'm like, cool, I'm
going with you.
Speaker 1 (20:05):
I know that's right.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Let's go get it.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Who's in your mount rushmore than what do you mean?
Speaker 4 (20:09):
In terms of R and B?
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Now we can pick all the time and new I I.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
You have to, like we asked the question, you actually
have to give us. You can't start this out.
Speaker 4 (20:21):
I can't do four. I can't put four people on
R and B. Is it fun?
Speaker 1 (20:30):
It's five today?
Speaker 4 (20:32):
You know what way to clean that up?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
It can spand yourself.
Speaker 4 (20:41):
Only say where where I drew from? That's that's all
I can say.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
That's yours.
Speaker 4 (20:47):
Give me the drew from. It's not a it's not
the best ever, it's it's just who I drew.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
Yeah, we're cutting all that out.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
You're going to keep all of that. It's a Kelly okay, babyface.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Okay, I with that one.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
No, I fucked the first one to Marvin Gay, Okay,
is there a woman that you were throwing there?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
You don't have to do it now that I said
it in R.
Speaker 1 (21:18):
And B, Damn, he said, y'all, Ain't that good?
Speaker 4 (21:24):
No, no, it's it's it's not. It's not. I come
from church, Okay, so a lot of a lot of
my influences are gospelfluences. If I was to put you
know what, I take that back, Rob Babyface, Marvin Gay,
this will surprise you.
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Chris Brown, Oh no, that doesn't surprise me.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Let's just say take believes in separating the art from
the artists.
Speaker 4 (21:50):
I think I think that well because you gotta you know,
in our in ours day, he was dependacle. The way
he is doing it was I mean, he was top
of the food chain. And even it wasn't just the music,
it was the presentation, like when you go back to
Downlaw and and and to separate those two songs from
(22:12):
the remix to the and then add mister Biggs to
it in the cinema and like he made it. He
made it a movie. Nobody like outside of Michael Jackson
who had done that for R and B. Like in
the streets. Babyface was an artist that as a as
a little kid, only singing gospel. When the girls would
(22:33):
ask me to sing a song instead of singing what
a friend we have in Jesus, I could sing a
Babyface song because you know, because these were nice, good songs,
good R and B songs, and that taught me how
to write without all the extras.
Speaker 5 (22:49):
But I'll taught me how to write like your extra cut. No no,
no no, yeah, I mean now the extras are great,
but I learned from Babyface how how to not even
need that?
Speaker 3 (23:00):
What if you had to choose out of these, like
you know, you're Mount Rushmore, what is the perfect R
and B track or artists for baby making music?
Speaker 1 (23:10):
Because today I'm fucking to.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Naomi Sharon a little bit of Brent actually Tari's being
coming in and out of there sometimes too, But for
a beautiful, intimate, romantic moment, it's really not the Brint
or the Naomi.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Who would it be?
Speaker 3 (23:24):
What is who is the artist that guaranteed panties off?
The fellas need this one because I don't know what
the fuck the niggas be putting on.
Speaker 4 (23:34):
Yeah, you gotta. It depends on the woman.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, I think that's.
Speaker 4 (23:39):
Because because because women, you know, women are different now,
you know what I mean? Women? You see you see
more women under than trap post like, so it's it's
like it depends on the woman and what she owned,
if she in that intimate moments, she want to smoke
(24:02):
some weed and get some Hennessy in her body and
get tossed around, or or if she you know, or
if she wants some nice shot a plan and she
really wants somebody look deep into her eyes. You know
what I'm saying. Oh my god, Like it really depends
on like because it's about listening, right, And so you
(24:25):
have to number one, be curious and and ask questions
because no one way works for everything, not in this space.
You know what I mean? Women, every woman is absolutely different.
Speaker 3 (24:40):
You sound like about all of them.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
They're all like something different had the day they do.
Speaker 4 (24:53):
You go, I see, I'm in my day. I had
nothing I'm having.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
I want to I want to get away from music
for a little bit.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
But still digging into one of my favorite records from you.
I made a game from When We which I love
in the remix.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
The remix is the one. God damn it. When they
say what remix is better liked? I think you made
like three. There's a lot of remixes you tried.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
Oh my gone, no, they went bananas. If you have
not heard that record one of my favorites. So I
made an ice record to get you to talk a
little bit, sex, little relationship, a little all the things.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
So this one's gonna be fun.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
When we bring food into the bedroom to spice things up,
I always suggest you're going to finish the blank So
it's a bunch of win wei's and I want.
Speaker 4 (25:47):
To see what you be doing when we bring food
into the bedroom.
Speaker 1 (25:51):
Have you never brought anything into the bedroom?
Speaker 4 (25:55):
I've tried. And when we say food, the same food,
I'll say ice. That's it.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Ice, That's what I'm almost.
Speaker 4 (26:07):
That's the furthest we're going with food, really absolute, Wait.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Why as food failed, you went and play with food?
Speaker 4 (26:14):
You way food like the idea of getting sticky.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
Okay, and I'm not mad.
Speaker 4 (26:22):
You gotta wipe that down, he said ice.
Speaker 1 (26:23):
He said, we're not making a mess. Nowhere would I go.
Speaker 4 (26:30):
Again? It depends. I mean the ice can go on
to the ice can go in.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
Here. That's all he wanted to hear you saying.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
Now now here the interesting one into relationships.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
When we argue, it's.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Usually because of miscommunication.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
Okay, period, valid. I don't think we have to go
deeper into that. Now here's the fun one.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
When we role play, I always request to.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Be now I'm just making some ship up you've never.
Speaker 2 (27:08):
Played before, or what would you like your partner to
dress up as? Like, has there ever been a scenario
where we're like, let's just have fun tonight, let's roll
play something.
Speaker 1 (27:18):
This outfit could be role play. You want to know
what it would be? Okay, all you gotta do is
pull the beanie.
Speaker 4 (27:23):
Down you robbing all them banks and see if you
can't steal.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
Ship.
Speaker 3 (27:33):
Wait, can't let me tell you if you wasn't going
to play tonight, I would have invited you. So I'm
going to quest loft to this game night in New York.
Speaker 4 (27:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (27:40):
He was like, Oh, I know how much you love
Sinners Ryan Coolers be there. Please don't say it, because
I'm saying it every day. I'm like, please, Lord, don't
let me get one to kill him play.
Speaker 2 (27:47):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
This stated?
Speaker 4 (27:49):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (27:50):
I know, and I don't care. I don't give a ship.
I'm just gonna be like, thank you so much.
Speaker 4 (27:54):
But you know what, and the thing about that, like
with with with the role play and things like that,
I'm so still aroused and amused by the simple things,
you know what I mean, Like like, you know, like
my wife having on a a T shirt that just
(28:14):
just slightly shows the butchet's just a little bit and
slightly shows the panty and the print up front like that.
That's like, that's that's all I need. Like all like
that easy, my wife, Ladies, you need something absolutely like
she don't have to do a bunch of a bunch
(28:38):
of extra anything. Now listen, I welcome it, for sure,
but I don't require it. I am that much, you know,
ready and available for just the thought of it. Okay,
you're gonna walk around but.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
That have like a lot of money or affluent or
can get any woman say these things that it's simplicity,
like you ain't even got to do too much.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
No, I don't. I find that people with more access
get bore quickly, you know what I mean, and they
have to find other ways, more ways to be stimulated.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I think right now a lot of us actually do,
whether you have money or not, because you can literally
open up your Twitter app or open up the Internet
and it's all right there, all right there.
Speaker 1 (29:21):
Now, I want to role play with you just a
little bit. The last question.
Speaker 2 (29:25):
When we're in public, and I whisper in your ear,
I'm telling you finish and I want you to whisper
it so the audience can hear you.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I want to devour oh fe on the bank, train,
the animus and ship.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Okay, we love a big word, and so devour is
not a big word.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Girl. Somebody could say, eat Mandy, I will take devow.
Speaker 4 (29:54):
What you're doing.
Speaker 3 (29:55):
Devour my flower, Devour my fly.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
There you have there, there you have it.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Devour my flower. Now I do.
Speaker 2 (30:04):
It wouldn't be us if we had this whole conversation
with you and didn't bring up some of the things
you've said out in public. But before we get there,
we have our book, No Holds Barred, a dual manifesto
of sexual exploration and power coming out. And I wanted
to read a little excerpt from my chapter. Can I
put it back there? This is my chapter around my
(30:29):
sexual views on the anus, and this is just the
few first sentences when I first started fucking. I believe
that if a man wanted to put it in my
ass that he was gay, period, point blank. You could
not tell me otherwise. My Rajanelle was that if I
had this glorious pussy, and I do that there was
(30:49):
no reason he should want to put it in the
back door. To me, when it came to heterosexual sex,
there were only two acceptable orphices, my vagina and my mouth.
I thought of anal sex is something that only gay
men did, and looking back, I attribute this blatant misconception
to many things, including my youth, lack of sexual education,
(31:10):
and let out ignorance.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
Now, this chapter goes from my views on.
Speaker 2 (31:16):
Me receiving anal sex and then me ben and men
over with a strap. So I had two views on
just anal sex is a pleasurable.
Speaker 1 (31:25):
Spot for people.
Speaker 2 (31:27):
Now, this chapter, for me, vividly speaks about just where
we are taught a lot of ignorance in terms of
loving ourselves, pleasing ourselves, what it looks like to communicate that,
and specifically within the black community stemming from homophobia.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Now, you've said some things across the internet where people
were like what the fuck.
Speaker 4 (31:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (31:53):
One is that you admitted that you like your legs
being raised during oral sex, which we find to be
very vanilla, very easy, like you just like to be comfortable,
you know. The other one is I think if a
guy suckstick twice, he's not gay. Now I would like
to know how you became so confident and comfortable and
(32:13):
not only speaking about sex publicly, but what that looks
like with your partners and how you're navigating teaching black
men specifically to not be shamed and unlearned the unhealthy
things we've learned about sex.
Speaker 4 (32:29):
I think it's more about you know, being open to conversations, okay, right,
and listening to people of other lifestyles, of other whatever
that for you may not make sense, but to discredit
(32:52):
or downgrade their existence, it's not fair within that. And
so you know, me coming from where I come from,
you know, I come from heavy homophobia, okay, heavy Like
it took me a long time to assimulate to the
(33:15):
quote unquote Hollywood environment because you know, I'm kid from Maryland,
you know what I mean, and from the church and
all of these things, and so where a lot of
these things are are are like frowned upon in a sense.
Now you come to Hollywood and you know, homosexuality it's prevalent, right,
(33:38):
And for me, it was very uncomfortable in the beginning.
My stylist is is a gay man. I study you
know this, this person here is and I'm like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
Like, at least have you got a good stylist.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
I'm like, I don't. I don't like, like, you know
what I'm saying, I don't. I don't. I don't like
the way looking at what I'm putting these clothes on.
I don't like. And it's all in my mind. I'm
assuming all of these things and it's not until I'll
tell you what happened. I signed Young Lady. She was like,
she was an openly gay rapper Messiah.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
Oh, she was on the TV show.
Speaker 4 (34:14):
Yes. I signed her, and I signed her because I
thought I thought she was well she is. I thought
she was the most incredibly talented human being from singing, songwriting.
I thought she was like a drake. I was like,
you're dope. I don't know what all's going on with you.
I don't understand anything that's going on with you, but
you're dope. And I signed her and she needed a
(34:35):
place to stay, and I was like, you know, you
can stay with me, and I really I started asking
her questions.
Speaker 1 (34:41):
About her sexuality. She's a woman, yes, and it's easier
for you to do that with a woman versus a man.
Speaker 4 (34:48):
That was just the opportunity that presented itself. And I
just started asking her questions and I'm like, well, how
and why? And as opposed to just you know, trying
to make my belief stick, what kind of questions?
Speaker 1 (35:06):
Yeah, would you ask?
Speaker 4 (35:08):
Well? The first was why?
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Why?
Speaker 4 (35:10):
Why are you gay?
Speaker 3 (35:13):
I say I had that reaction because for someone that's
so open about gayness, I feel like, the why is
any easy one?
Speaker 1 (35:22):
Like because I like it this way.
Speaker 4 (35:24):
Now it's easy, I understand it. And I'm like, I'm like,
why are you gay? Like why? How?
Speaker 1 (35:31):
Like?
Speaker 4 (35:32):
Maybe we'll mix them together? And she was like, I
was ever since I can remember desiring anything, I desired
a woman. Okay, I said, interesting, I says you you
you're telling me you were born this way? She said,
I was absolutely born this way. And I had to
take that into consideration outside of all the things I
(35:52):
had been taught into spirit you can pray it out,
it's nothing but the devil and all of these things
that I had been taught. And I had to look
at this woman who was honestly telling me, as long
as I can remember, I've only wanted a woman, and
to this day, I've never wanted a man.
Speaker 3 (36:10):
I was like, you know, what's interesting to hear a
man say? And I I liked hearing you say it.
Speaker 2 (36:17):
This way because I've described this to men, like when
you're confused, think about innately how you want women.
Speaker 3 (36:25):
That is literally how my gay friends view it. Is
like I wake up, I feel this, I embody this.
It's the same thing, yes, And then we're trying to
convince you. Imagine me trying to tell you loving your
wife is bad. Now, that could be an extremity in this,
but when it comes to sexuality, Oh.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
It's not the extreme. It's what it's You're right.
Speaker 1 (36:44):
Okay, you're right, loving your wife would be bad, right.
Speaker 4 (36:46):
For because that's how strongly we believe yep, that how
we help. That's as strongly we believe against that. Yeah,
it's the same thing reversed. And so like you know,
one of my good friends style is Brian Javar, And
I'm like, oh.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
And then you started asking him the same question.
Speaker 4 (37:06):
Well, just you know, just even us in in in
being friends, right, you know what I'm saying, Like I
kindle and that's being friends. And it's like you realize
that who you are is who you are, right and
just because that's your friend or just because you know
y'all hang out on the case, doesn't mean that you're
that yeah, doesn't mean that this becomes you. And so
(37:29):
a lot of times with men, you know, especially you know,
but when we were in that hyper masculine space, we
don't want nothing around us that's going to chip away
at that masculinity. We don't want nobody associated with us
that's gonna chip away at that masculinity. And that, to
(37:49):
me is an insecurity.
Speaker 3 (37:51):
How did you go from that brain to being a guy?
I remember the day you said it. I was smiling,
laugh I'm like.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
This, I just you gotta stop worrying about what everybody
else thinks.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
Because you still believe that today. What is that dick twice?
Speaker 4 (38:08):
And I well, how comes twice? I know that? And
when when the number was put on it, that was all.
But I do know that again, in speaking with with
people who are gay, they are actually gay. It's not
it wasn't an experiment once in high school or an
(38:29):
experiment once in college, and then they actually found them
their true selves and now they exist in whatever way
that is. No, it's no, this is what I am
and this is how I'm living. This is my life.
I kind of stopped saying lifestyle, right, this is my life.
I am. I am gay that's what they're saying. And
(38:51):
so I think that there's a great difference between people
who have tried things and people who are things. That
was my point.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I like to a lifestyle word, just take that.
Speaker 4 (39:03):
Out of context because it's the internet. The internet, and
then it went from a story about somebody to me,
and that's the ignorance of social media. But I don't
you know, again, none of that bothers.
Speaker 1 (39:17):
You know. I never thought it was you.
Speaker 3 (39:19):
But one thing I did think when I saw it
was something I say often.
Speaker 1 (39:25):
This is a memory that will stick out to me forever.
Although gay, I grew up in the South, I know
how we think of men that are gay. I used
to even sometimes have that language. When I was young.
Speaker 3 (39:35):
I never believed niggas could be by you know, I
was one of them. Girl, Like, now once you do it.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
You gay.
Speaker 3 (39:41):
Go to Europe with my best friend. He's on a
date with a dude in Rome. He's like, girl, this
place is lit, come meet us. I show up to
the bar and the guy was like, oh my god,
there's Italian dude. He's like, he didn't tell your friend
looked like this, mind you They was kissing.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
He's like, I want to fuck to both of you.
So I'm laughing because I was a movie. Oh it
felt like a movie. We're in Europe.
Speaker 3 (40:02):
I'm twenty one and we're on this boat in Italy
and my friend is like, I really don't want to
fuck you, but he's fine, I want to fuck it too,
but now you.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
A can like I ain't got a choice.
Speaker 3 (40:12):
And this guy back and forth all night is touching
both of us, so into us and I went home.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Called my mom.
Speaker 2 (40:18):
The next day, I was like, Wow, Europe and men
have the freedom to be gay. I didn't say they're
really by there are exploring sexuality, but they actually can
do this.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I believed it.
Speaker 3 (40:30):
I believed men could be by From that day I
watched this guy the way he was attracted back and forth,
and it made me sad because I know black men
don't have that.
Speaker 1 (40:38):
What black men where I'm gonna pull up and that
could happen where.
Speaker 4 (40:41):
In La Well, I don't think it's I don't think
it's dedicated to black men, right, you think it's.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
An American thing, because I do feel like it might be.
Speaker 3 (40:51):
I think white people can play around a little bit.
I don't think black men can. I think black women
can play around, but.
Speaker 4 (40:56):
It also like it also has a lot of history
reconnected to it when it comes to black men, right,
I don't it's not just reserved for black men, but
when you think about the history of black men in
America specifically, and and the methods that were used to
make to e masculate and make us less than that's
(41:18):
where it gets kind of triggering for black men. But
you know, ultimately, I think and just believe that you're
you're gonna be what you are, and in terms of
finding people who are like you or or or or
are into the things that you're into, you just have
to be patient and in figuring out who and where
(41:40):
those people are.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
That's a good point. Finding your tribe is all that
matter is.
Speaker 4 (41:43):
Somebody, and that's really all that matters. You know. I
was I was sitting on the plane next to a
young guy football player and he was like, you know,
how do I manage all of this? He's got the money.
You know, he's he's on TV. You know what I'm saying.
They all own them, you know what I'm saying. He's like,
(42:04):
I'm a I'm a young you know, I grew up
in the church. I think I know what's right, and
I'm just what what do I do? And I said,
and I said, I said, young fella, good luck, fuck luck,
young rich fella. Do it how you would like to
(42:24):
do it, Like honestly and unapologetically do it how you
would like to do it, and make sure that the
people within this space, all who are involved, understand what
that is. I was like, be honest, be honest with yourself,
and be honest with the person or the people around you,
(42:48):
and live it exactly how you want to live it
and judge from there. Decide from there like what works
and what doesn't work. But while you're young, and while
you have options, do what you would like to do.
Don't hurt nobody, you know what I mean, But do
(43:08):
what you want to do.
Speaker 1 (43:09):
He basically said, put a condom on a fuck them all.
Speaker 2 (43:12):
I cannot wait to put violent strings behind you, saying
that that was so beautiful.
Speaker 4 (43:16):
You to do, because it's because.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Not what everyone thinks that you would be feeling.
Speaker 4 (43:21):
You should do, or you know, because there's so many
influences and so many traditions that can lead you into
a space that you don't belong in.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yeah, how long did it take?
Speaker 2 (43:32):
You to figure that out and to get in a
space where you're at now.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
I mean, I'm forty nine, so even at forty nine,
I'm still evolving, learning and growing.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
I only didn't make the shock face because I googled it.
Speaker 4 (43:46):
So so you know, even a lot of the ideas
that I speak of now are are years old. You
know what I mean, because you know, still learning, still evolving,
and and still still growing into a space where everything
for me is grace.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
I love that now for decisions decisions.
Speaker 2 (44:13):
Yes, we get into relationships though, and I want to
talk to you and hopefully our audience can take some
tips from you as well on how to find love again.
Speaker 1 (44:24):
Now.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
I talked about double backing and we kind of made
the synopsis here that it doesn't work. Once you lose somebody,
you shouldn't go back and xyz elemental P. However, you
took a break from your wife and fiance wife, y'all
have been together for the spand of like twenty years altogether,
but y'all took about six years of a break you
(44:45):
co parented. I want to know what it looked like
for you to take that space and find your way
back and how you.
Speaker 4 (44:53):
Got back you know what I wish. I wish that
I had the science on it right, Okay, because we
didn't actually get together. We hadn't known each other for
she danced on my first video. We hadn't known each other,
you know, kind of offing on, messing or whatever, messing around.
(45:14):
We didn't get together until like two thousand and four,
broke up in like two thousand and six, then had
a baby in two thousand and seven. And during all
this time there was you know, there's a lot of beef,
you know what I mean. I don't like you. You know,
(45:34):
maybe you don't like me a little bit, but I
really don't like you. And she was moving on doing anything.
I was moving on doing my thing, what have you.
And in the midst of a breakup, you know, we're
still cold parenting cool people's. She was always super solid
as a as a mom, okay, super solid to co
(45:56):
parent with, like just rolled with roll with all punches,
and not all the punches were fair, but she rolled
with them, you know what I mean, super solid. And
after a breakup, we just started we started talking more,
(46:16):
you know what I mean. And just because it's like
the second time around, like those conversations communications are easier. Okay,
you're not hiding as much anymore, Like you didn't sing
the worst of it. Now the conversations are really on,
like well this is how I feel, and well this
(46:39):
is how I feel, and you're able to have those
conversations and nobody takes it away, doesn't feel a way,
And so we were able to communicate what I feel
like at a higher level on this re entry, which
just which just felt weird to me because in my mind,
I was like, I'll never ever in a million years
(47:00):
be with this woman and the same and and and
then all of a sudden, we're having these high level
conversations about friendship and life, and you know, they were like,
we want to go to the movies.
Speaker 3 (47:13):
Maybe it's because the romance is taken out. Do you
think there's I know you don't have the science, but
I have heard people say when the pressure is gone,
they can have this resurgence of romance.
Speaker 4 (47:24):
I think it was. I think it was. It wasn't
romance at first, it was like we truly became friendship. Friendship.
Speaker 1 (47:31):
What did it looks like? Like? How did you forgive
someone that you literally said at one point.
Speaker 4 (47:36):
I like her at all Forgiveness is about accountability on
whose end listen, okay, listen. Forgiveness is about looking in
the mirror as a as a person who is not
trying to forgive, and saying to the person in the mirror,
(47:58):
he without sin cast the first like you got caught.
I didn't, but we being real, I was do that.
Speaker 1 (48:22):
M hmm.
Speaker 4 (48:23):
If we being real, I was old that universe had
to get I got to eat that. Oh for being real.
Speaker 1 (48:34):
And you knew how you showed up and the ship
that you had done.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
I knew what was in the dark, even if she
didn't know. And and and and men are really good
at that. How dare you? How dare you text that? Dude?
How dare you respond to that? Dam? M hm?
Speaker 1 (49:01):
Do you know? Oh, we can't wait?
Speaker 2 (49:04):
Get my notepas and you just basically are like, I
know what the hell I'm doing?
Speaker 4 (49:08):
We gotta we gotta, we gotta be real and the
in me and me looking myself in the mirror and
tell them and being truthful about who I am and
what I was was Was's how I was able to
be like you know what, I'm not perfect, She's not perfect.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
The mean thing that caused a riff.
Speaker 4 (49:32):
Somewhat somewhat Yeah?
Speaker 1 (49:34):
Is it just for women listening?
Speaker 3 (49:37):
I made a joke you know when I was like, oh,
you know this is hohost shit earlier whatever? Is it
almost inevitable with someone in entertainment because of the options?
Is it almost inevitably inevitable because it's like it's being
thrown at you at your lifestyle the character of tank
versus who you are at home?
Speaker 1 (49:53):
Like, is it is it hard to avoid?
Speaker 4 (49:56):
It? Is that it is also inevitable in your youth? Right?
Speaker 1 (50:00):
Well? You consider like, so when do they stop? Tell
you women, for the most.
Speaker 4 (50:04):
Part, when you're young. When you're young, I'm gonna say
for women and men, women get horny as motherfucker.
Speaker 1 (50:09):
Too, and they don't know. We was host most of
my friends.
Speaker 4 (50:12):
Cheek listen when you're young and hot and bothered and
won't it should happens? Should happen?
Speaker 3 (50:21):
What age do you think there's a shift for men though,
when they like, hey, having it too?
Speaker 4 (50:28):
Not even there now? If they got these pills out.
You know, I got a new line. Uh uh stiff
bull bang bang tea. We will get to all of that. Yeah,
you have a new line.
Speaker 3 (50:41):
I've been trying to dilute my man's mocker root, Like
I know how horny is.
Speaker 4 (50:45):
Listen you, that's funny. I think that again a lot
of times I say everything is based on the individual
and and and the experience it is. It is like,
no nobody can make you do anything, like like, yep,
no situation can make you do anything. It has to
be for you. You know what I'm saying. If you're going
(51:06):
to be solid and faithful or if you're not, it's
it's on you.
Speaker 2 (51:10):
I literally say that if there's not gun to head,
you have the wherewithal to make the decisions. It's to leave,
to walk away, to stay, to put up with it,
to tell your friends and not tell your friends.
Speaker 3 (51:21):
But I do think it could be harder with men
and entertainment not giving men slack. But for example, if
I'm on a diet, it's easy if I ain't got
no crazy food in the house. Now when I'm going
out to restaurants and choosing not to eat, it's like,
right now we're not drinking. I'm not drinking because I'm
trying to cut and lean out. Right, Oh why am
I going to parties like it's.
Speaker 1 (51:39):
The met weekend? Like Monday we got I'm like, bro,
this is tough.
Speaker 4 (51:43):
And it's tougher in the environment.
Speaker 1 (51:45):
Now if I'm home, I'm going breaking up at a
certain time.
Speaker 4 (51:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (51:48):
So I can't imagine pussy and the best pussy, different
colored pussies, different kinds, flavors and shit.
Speaker 4 (51:56):
It's crazy.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
I know when we talk we lean into like the
entertainer of it all. But growing up in Orlando, if
you're in small cities, there's men that have a plethora
of options in even Middle America, small cities, Like, it's
not just status, it's not just power.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
A lot of men have a lot of options a
lot of times in their own listen.
Speaker 4 (52:16):
And it's cast in the hood.
Speaker 1 (52:18):
They got the full.
Speaker 2 (52:22):
There's there's options and they but they don't have they
have options, they don't have discernment.
Speaker 1 (52:29):
That's the problem.
Speaker 4 (52:30):
Are they just the means are just different.
Speaker 3 (52:32):
I mean we're only as good as our options. That's
the truth of it all. Like you can have a
funny looking nigga, tell me he's good to his wife.
I bet you are, Bet you are. You can have
a wealthy man tell me that it's hard, and I
bet it is. Like I really do believe It's our options.
It's why certain people act certain ways. What we're like,
we're a product of those options, having a roster, a
(52:55):
plethoro of people falling at you. It's celebrity status too
as well. Even if you're not attractive, people just want
to fucking around you. We've all been around that person
that's super famous and we're like, damn, you know what,
I'm like, what the fuck?
Speaker 2 (53:06):
And especially right you're just like, I know I'm mean,
but what the fuck? How does this person do it?
I want to ask you before we get out of here.
We haven't dove into the episode just yet, but being
that you communicate, you've unlearned some things, you're open to
learning more things within your relationship.
Speaker 1 (53:24):
What do your boundaries look like?
Speaker 2 (53:26):
We've been talking about boundaries, compromise versus sacrifice and all
these things. Do you have a boundary that you've set
forth that you won't cross or what does it look
like to compromise with your partner?
Speaker 1 (53:36):
What does that kind of entail?
Speaker 4 (53:38):
I mean, we we we really communicate about everything everything.
Like my wife is one of those women that'll say
anything okay, Like she'll say it and then that oh yeah,
I shouldn't said it like that, like she's she's that person. Absolutely,
(53:58):
it's spice, is it? Because I'm non reactive?
Speaker 1 (54:02):
We see how long you take to answer question?
Speaker 4 (54:04):
You know how you like you have a your Wow,
I just writing the big dogs and things like this,
that's you. That's how So you know me. I'm just
about you know, I'm just about respect and appreciation because
(54:25):
I'm getting out in the field and I'm going to
make sure that your feet don't touch the ground. Just
respect and appreciate that, Okay, And that's it. I'm I'm
when they say men are simple creatures, they're talking about
me like food, food, water, power, you got you gotta
(54:49):
give me the flowers, uh, food, sex, and and and
and occasionally letting me know that I'm doing a good job.
Speaker 1 (55:01):
Oh affirmation okay? And how many years have you move
with your wife?
Speaker 4 (55:07):
We have we're going on seven years of marriage this year.
Speaker 3 (55:10):
So when we sat down with Envy DJ Envy and
his wife, Yeah, I asked, at what point do you
just stop fighting and or what point does it just
get easier? Do you feel that you've even reached it
seven years that it's just seamless, that it's just easy
that you know each other better, has that hit?
Speaker 4 (55:28):
Yeah, we know each other very well. But you know,
spice just is what it is. It's just it's just
organically spicy.
Speaker 1 (55:35):
Do you like a little toxic? Do you?
Speaker 4 (55:37):
And my wife is going to find some spice to
throw to start the dash.
Speaker 1 (55:44):
Of at front?
Speaker 4 (55:45):
Is this liberal woman will figure out some spice. I'm
a capricorn, Oh, Jane Janeuay first, damn? Yeah, yeah, I have.
Speaker 3 (55:57):
A holiday birthday too. I'm curious when is your birthday?
You'd be like, like, is it annoying that everybody's come
over on your birthday?
Speaker 1 (56:04):
Do you just celebrated? Is it New York?
Speaker 4 (56:07):
It annoyed me as a kid because they would group
my birthday gifts for my Christmas gift. It's still got.
Speaker 2 (56:15):
You got your birthday gifts on Christmas.
Speaker 4 (56:21):
I don't do that to my son because because his
birthday January first?
Speaker 1 (56:26):
What the wow?
Speaker 4 (56:27):
Yeah? Yeah, see she she had a she had a
baby on my birthday. That's how she got the job.
Speaker 1 (56:34):
Was that her due date?
Speaker 4 (56:35):
That was her January first?
Speaker 1 (56:37):
That is so weird.
Speaker 4 (56:38):
And I said, I said, listen, I got you. Don't
roll with me. Give me a baby as a gift
you good, that's good for life's special. But yeah, so,
I mean, but she's spisy. She can't help herself, like
it's not like she can control it, like she's she's
just swixy. And then don't let you know you know
(56:59):
how how you know your hormones get when that time
when the month comes and things just get thrown off,
bounced a little bit. Oh when that when the spikes
really pick up. I know what's going on. And then
I have to give her so much great, I'm like, great.
Speaker 1 (57:13):
She looked like, let me see, she's gorgeous. Does she looks?
Does she got the looks gorgeous? You know, when women
are so fine, you be like, what's remember the guy
that they were hot and crazy smell.
Speaker 4 (57:23):
From Saint Looisa.
Speaker 1 (57:24):
Fine? Oh I forgot a fun woman right there. Oh yes,
I see, I could see the crazy. I see it.
It's the eyes. It's the eyes.
Speaker 4 (57:36):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (57:36):
I love this picture of you too.
Speaker 4 (57:38):
That's from the front of my first video.
Speaker 1 (57:40):
Shoot, first video shoot.
Speaker 4 (57:42):
First video shoot.
Speaker 1 (57:43):
And he has on leather pants of course that's what
we did, dated.
Speaker 4 (57:49):
White and a bandanna. I ain't got no bandanas, but
I tell you right now I gotta, I gotta. I
got a tank top and some leather pants in the closet.
Speaker 1 (57:57):
You know you got a tank?
Speaker 4 (57:58):
Stay ready to.
Speaker 1 (57:59):
Be Wait before we get out of here. How'd you
get your name? Don't tell you the tank top?
Speaker 2 (58:05):
No, I wish I wish it was you said he
got that tank in the pants.
Speaker 4 (58:10):
I wish.
Speaker 1 (58:16):
The Caribbean mom to fucking do Tank.
Speaker 3 (58:20):
I'm talking about Lord Jesus, are you here in the
room with us? And she over looked, like kept the
boris kujo?
Speaker 1 (58:27):
Tank? Yes, he is.
Speaker 4 (58:30):
I say that. My grandmother named me Tank. My cousins
were making fun of me because I had a big
hit in the big stomach.
Speaker 3 (58:37):
That is hilarious from Geekko hilarious.
Speaker 4 (58:45):
So my grandma was like, that's my tank. Boy, leaves
him alone, Come here Tank, and just started calling because.
Speaker 1 (58:50):
Your head, that's hilarious.
Speaker 4 (58:52):
Dog.
Speaker 1 (58:53):
If y'all haven't uh. There are over a hundred episodes.
Speaker 2 (58:58):
Of R and B Money correct hundred in fifty there's
a ton and guess you and Jay Valentine hosted. One
of my favorite episodes was when y'all had Tearan He's
a friend of mine. I love Torn so much, love
that that episode. I was like, and he always drops
gems and tells the best stories, which I think I
love about R and B Money so much.
Speaker 1 (59:19):
You get the people so comfortable they do the stories.
Speaker 4 (59:22):
And they really they're really the drivers, you know what
I mean, their conversations and their experiences and no, no, no no, they.
Speaker 2 (59:30):
Say with other people, it's not the same. No, no, no, no,
they're not the drivers.
Speaker 4 (59:34):
Well we know why. You know why. You know why
because we're of the cloth, right, you know what I mean,
we we are, we are active, and so our sensibilities
are just different. Yeah, you know, our conversation is just
different because we do it. And so they I mean
when they sit on our couch, you know, they they
(59:55):
don't just feel comfortable, they feel appreciated. I mean they
feel thata tell you like, we know what you're doing,
what it is that you do, and how hard it
is to do it. We love you and appreciate you.
This is your space.
Speaker 1 (01:00:07):
Period, y'all. Check out R and B Money.
Speaker 2 (01:00:10):
Yeah, if you are coming to New York anytime, you
must see Hell's.
Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
Kitchen, please tell us so highly on the stage.
Speaker 4 (01:00:20):
Yeah, so, y'all have a good.
Speaker 2 (01:00:22):
Amount of time our listeners New York, y'all, this is
one of our biggest audiences. If you're traveling to New York,
you must. I'm telling y'all now you must see Hell's Kitchen.
And if you're a patron, I because it was so good.
This isn't because Tank right here. I promise you it's
not because I would have told them if it was
mid it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
I love it so much.
Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
I am giving away two pairs of tickets to go
see Hell's Kitchen to our patrons. So go on over
to our Patreon community. That's patreon dot com. Backslash horrible Decisions.
And then also, I was talking to your manager before
we get out of here. You have a new single
out with Alisa.
Speaker 4 (01:00:59):
Yes, all gone shout out to a black Round record,
shout with the Barry Hankerson. Okay, they called me with
this idea, Sean Garrett, who actually helped, you know, reproduce
it together. You just wanted the greatest and you know
they had the idea to to to make me a
part of it. Wow, And for me it was it
(01:01:20):
was a no brainer. You know what I mean. Any
opportunity I get to pay homage to a Leah to
just keep her legacy and her memory.
Speaker 1 (01:01:30):
I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Well, I do want to tell you because I was
looking for it today. It is exclusively on bk stream,
so bokaystreamai dot com if you guys want to hear that.
But I'm literally I was like, Okay, I guess I gotta.
Speaker 4 (01:01:43):
Go get on.
Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
Uh this app. I love any which way that they're adding.
Speaker 4 (01:01:49):
And what I want to add to that is that
I think, you know, I think people, you know, when
judging these things and critiquing these things, want people to
have a little more grace because the song.
Speaker 1 (01:02:05):
Is a or no it's not.
Speaker 4 (01:02:07):
But we're dealing with you know, we're dealing with vocals
that are decades and decades all. We're going to salvage
a lot of things and put things together the best
way we can to sound the best they can to
honor her. You know, I'm not I'm not making a
bunch of money to do this, you know what I mean.
Blackground is not making a bunch of money to do this.
(01:02:29):
But what we are doing is we're ensuring that Aliyah,
who's important to I think all of us, that that
that her spirit and that her legacy remains continues, it
continues to live, and it's continued in conversation and we're
and we're really just doing the best we can.
Speaker 1 (01:02:48):
People will appreciate that.
Speaker 4 (01:02:51):
People can it just can be too judgmental when they
don't understand the process everything. But just know that you
know we're doing our best.
Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
We're not going to judge this. You're just gonna judge
that old clip year bro. Thank you so much, y'all.
Speaker 2 (01:03:08):
Make sure you go ahead and pre order our book,
No holds bar to doing Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power.
And again I'm giving out two pairs of the tickets
two Hell's Kitchen on Broadway in New York City because
you're gonna spend your money on nhbtour dot com.
Speaker 1 (01:03:22):
You will, you will NHB tour dot com. Make sure
you check us out.
Speaker 2 (01:03:26):
And I think that's it, so y'all, thank you so
much for tuning in to yet another episode of Decisions,
Decisions Yane
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